I’m Not Cinderella

Vaulted ceilings.

Orchestral music.

Ballgowns and dancers.

Blue and silver sequins.

Glass slippers.

The clock strikes twelve.

It’s a dream with a time limit.

 

I’m tired and I’m scared.

All good things can be tainted.

I think I’ll keep my distance.

I don’t dance.

I’m not five

Playing dress up

In my mothers shoes.

Cinderella was a fairytale:

A dream I could never afford.

 

Wishing wells.

Golden coins.

Kissed frogs.

Lullabies.

Pink tutus.

And they lived

Happily Ever After.

A childhood that I somehow missed,

Because I couldn’t decide what to dress my barbie in.

 

Damn.

I’m not five,

But I want to be,

If only I can dance with the prince.

 

Finding lost imagination is never easy.

(Neither is learning to dance.)

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Genie Pendant

She is the type of girl who puts feathers and flowers in between the leaves of her Bible. Her own skin is ink pressed and crinkled with age. A cigarette hangs between her calloused fingers. Girl or woman, I can’t tell the difference. Her body shows signs of age, but the way she talks is as if she’s back in middle school experiencing her first love.

She is the type of girl who knows she is dirt, but “start dust” is what she calls herself. She will smile and show her crooked, nicotine, yellow stained teeth. Although, nothing about her shines gold. Actually, she is rather bronze. Maybe back in the day she wore a gold medal, but I can’t tell. To me she is more like a sticky penny from 1988. 

She is the type of girl who sits on a whicker basket behind a blanket full of timeless wares. She clasps a necklace around me, and tells me that the pendant was once home to a genie. For a second I think she is the genie. She tells me stories about all of these things, wounds from her past, that she is avidly trying to get rid of. 

She is the type of girl who bled gold once, but it tarnished overtime as she slowly forgot her worth, and here she is trying to earn it back; and here I am, dragging knives across my skin, paying in blood, creating wounds, that I too will sell in the future.

At least I get a genie pendant out of it. 

Editing will forever be my bane.

So, it was pointed out to me that there were several huge errors in my book. I want to apologize to everyone for how inconvenient this is. I went through and edited it, so it is now back up for sale. *An entire imaginary crowd of like three people start clapping vigorously. One of them probably whistles.*

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The one and only beautiful, Dowager Queen, is once again available for sale. It went from a whopping 32 pages up to 40. (I was feeling inspired.) I really encourage you all to get it. It’s small and short, so it’s something you can carry with you everywhere and read anywhere.

If you want to buy a copy of it, you can click here.

Thank you all for your support and being patient with me. It really mean a lot to me.

我爱你!

milk and honey by rupi kaur – Book Review

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This book. I might have written more notes in this book than I did in Amanda Lovelace’s book.

Again, this was a book of poetry. There were no capital letters, which I enjoyed. Although, one thing that set this book a part from Lovelace’s is that Kaur put drawings on some of the pages. I loved that. I wasn’t just reading things from Kaur’s point of view, but I was also able to see things from her point of view.

Both Lovelace’s and Kaur’s books are similar in content, but the delivery was different, and both of them gave me different perspectives on different matters. I really liked reading it, and I really want to go through and reread it, but that will wait for when I finish a few other books I have stacked on my floor.

I highly recommend you go buy this book. Read it and take notes then go and read it again. Let it flood your soul and enter into your mind. Let it make you think. Let it give you new ideas and a few tips on what you can do to better improve your poetry. I know it did all of those things to me.

Is it too late to say I procrastinate?

Everyday this week I have thought about writing a post, and then I just didn’t. So here I am apologizing. I am incredibly sorry. *Does a full ninety degree Korean bow.*

I would love to make the excuse that I’ve been busy, but if I say that, then I have to give you proof I’ve been busy when really I was only busy on Tuesday, and even then I could have put up a post.

Tuesday: I went to the beach with some friends and Little Sister. After that, Mother and I took a two and a half hour car ride to a Barnes N Noble to get a book signed.

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While I was only there for about fifteen minutes, I am delighted that I got this signed. I got to meet the amazing author herself. She was a delight, and I’m thankful Mother was willing to drive me.

Yeah, so Tuesday I was awake from five in the morning until probably about midnight. Everyday, after that, what was I doing? I honestly don’t remember.

I’ve been shopping a lot. So much so, I’ve run out of hangers and space in my closet to put clothes. On Thursday, I talked to Tulsa Best Friend for a couple of hours. I’ve been thinking about heading back to college and all the supplies I’m going to need for that.

I honestly, think that’s all I can say right now. I’m still slowly reading books.

Current Reads:

  • I’m about half way through The Whispers of the Fallen.
  • I’m some where on chapter two of Emperor of the Eight Islands.

This week I will definitely finish reading three books, my last freelance project,  and my second Chapbook. These are my goals for this week. I’ll be sure to get them done, and I’ll keep you updated on them.

Alright, that’s all. Now I’m gonna go write that review I promised you.

Fighting! Good luck! 加油!Goodbye! 再见!

Story Time

The Dragon Sash

I still wore the veil held in place by a jade comb, but I refused to wear the elaborate headdress. I relented to wearing everything else. The shoes I was wearing were made with a soft red fabric. Green turtles were stitched into the sides. The dress I was wearing was white with a red robe. The sash tied around my waist was also white but with red dragons stitched into it. It was the final piece to the whole ensemble. It was a gift, he had asked me to wear it.

We were out in the peach grove under all of the blossoming trees. I was in a palanquin, a light silk fabric screening my face from him. I came from just as much a royal family as he did. Surrounding me were twelve men. He was alone. We had only meant twice before and those times were only coincidences. He held out both hands. Folded over them was the sash. He said he would be honored if I wore it. How could I have refused him? It was probably the most beautiful gift I had ever been given. However, I should have known the intentions behind it, especially since it was coming from him.

It was only a few weeks after that, when I found myself sitting in my room surrounded by maids. They were all combing my hair, touching my skin, trying to decide how to paint my face. I turned to them and said, “Dress me how you want, but you must choose whether I wear the headdress or the sash. I will not wear both. I will not let others seal my fate when I am perfectly capable of deciding my future for myself.”

I was without the headdress, but the sash suddenly felt too tight. I wanted out of the Bridal Chair and into the open air. I wanted out from behind the curtains and the veil. Looking ahead I saw the palace doors open. Looking behind me, I watched them close. With the gates behind me and the crown prince somewhere in the palace in front of me, I knew the dragon sash tied around my waist had tied me to this occasion. I now had little to no part in my own future. I knew that whether I liked it or not, I was now bound to the crown prince and his future the moment I accepted the sash, something I never should have done.

Get ready ya’all.

I am so excited to announce, that I have been working hard at writing.

“What? Really? You write?”

Harhar. Yes. Yesterday. I wrote a whole chapbook (32 pages. Wooooow *hint of sarcasm*), and now am in the process of going through Lulu and self-publishing the little thing. It should be done and ready within a couple of weeks. I’m excited to show you guys the final product. I really hope you all like it. Little Sister is the only one who has read the whole thing, and Michigan Best Friend read part of it.

That’s the most exciting thing I’ve done.

Do I have anything else to talk about? Yes. Always. I’m slowly making my way through The Whispers of the Fallen. I am loving it so much. I’m actually surprised I haven’t finished it yet. I did finish milk and honey by Rupi Kaur. It was so beautiful. (I would like to let everyone know, I just spelled beautiful as butiful. *face palm*) I want to reread it again, but I won’t so soon. I should be putting a review up soon. Maybe I can get someone else to review it too. Hehe. Anyway, be on the look out for that.

**Just had a thought** Why is it, that when I start picking up the pace in writing and reading I lack in Chinese? or vice versa? What is this? Why can’t I just do everything and have a nice productive life? ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

Ooh! Yesterday, I went shopping, and came home with more clothes than I need. The thought of having to leave some home when I go back to college hurts my heart. I’m so emotionally attached to everything wear. I’m excited about these new clothes though, because I’ve been trying to adjust my style to look like more of the K-Pop trends. I think I did really well with that yesterday. I went to Walmart, Plato’s Closet, Maurices, and Barnes N Noble.

“Barnes N Noble? You can’t get clothes there.” No, you’re right. I can’t, but I did get a cute planner. I love it to pieces already. It’s cute and colorful with different shades of pink and red on it. I’m excited for the semester to start so that I can use the planner to its fullest.

Alright. That’s as much of an update (updete… that’s what I almost put.) as I think is necessary right now. Not unless you all really want to know about me going to the beach on Thursday? Friday? (I don’t remember.) and getting an iPad on Saturday, and how I’ll be going to the beach again tomorrow. (Now you know, and I probably already told you most of that stuff.)

See, my goodbyes and endings to these can’t possible get more awkward.

Fighting! Good luck! 加油!