He walked across the stage, flowers held out to me. At least, he did in my dreams. In real life, he didn’t even know my name. If he did, I have never heard him say it out loud. He just roams the halls. Like every clichéd love story you read in books, I am living it. I am living the stupid high school romance. For this reason, I’m still holding out for him to end up being some sort of vampire hunter or to one day roll in on a motorcycle in a leather jacket. However, we are graduating in seven days, walking across the stage to grab our diplomas. We’ll throw our hats in the air and probably never see each other again. I mean, they’ll probably all see each other again. I won’t see anyone, because I’m currently in an arranged marriage with the god of an icy underworld. Can you imagine? I’m living every teenage romance, but I’m also living every horror fantasy. Demons? Check. Pits of fire? They burn like hell (which makes sense since I’m in hell). Sexy hot captain of a football team? Yeah. *Inserts like a million emojis with the heart eyes* (Man, I’ve got it bad.) Jealous god of an underworld? Half check. (He won’t admit he’s jealous.) Ditzy best friend? I have one and I am one. Although the girl I’m the ditzy best friend for is actually living the most normal life I could imagine. (Heck, it’s probably what you’re living right now.) A thousand lies so my parents won’t find out? That probably would have made things easier, but how do you think I ended up in the arranged marriage?
Look, my life is a mess, and I’m only just starting. I live a mix of the Incredibles and Sky High. Both of them are movies I grew up thinking were real, only to discover that they’re not, and my family is just one huge oxymoronic conglomeration of right and wrong in a world of normal, simple, beings.
My mom is practically an angel. I’m convinced she is, but her marriage to my dad is what made her lose her wings. She won’t admit to anything, but one look at her and you would swear there’s a halo glowing around her head. (She also might just get her hair highlighted to look like that. Not that I’ve ever seen her go into a salon though.) Then there’s my dad. I don’t know what he is or was, but he had some major roll to play in the underworld, and now I’m engaged to the king of it. Last but not least is my sister, and she’s the purest thing on the planet, duh! (I say this in the most sarcastic way because my parents just cannot see the little eight year old brat sinning. I promise I saw her drown a guinea pig in our bathtub once only to bring it back to life and repeat the process.)
I know. You’re just thinking that I’m the most normal child in my family, and that I was unluckily born without powers which is why they dote on my sister. Ha! I wish that were the case. Maybe then I could get out of the marriage. But, no. I have it worse out of all of us. My dad is bad, and my sister is horrible, but I’m a complete monster.
“Could you be any more or less cryptic about your plans for this weekend?” Ismere looked at me. (She’s the ditzy best friend. Which, I really only allowed her to become my friend because of her name. Because, of course, my life is a book, so her name has to be weird.)
“Eli.” (That’s me. Eli is short for Eliza which is short for Elizabeth.) She shifted her hips and rested her weight on her right leg. “More? Less? Which one?”
“I thought by saying ‘yes’ it was obvious.” Her expression remained blank. “More. Ismere, I can be more vague and cryptic.”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course.” She turned and slammed the locker closed.